Christopher Owens
A New Testament
Reviewed by: Lara Supan
Today’s album review is brought to you by the words “contrived”, “phony” and “artificial”.
If this album doesn’t offend you by the end of it, you might want to get your ears checked. This bogus country album sounds like he wrote songs to a YouTube karaoke video of country music. His rhymes are elementary at best, and the backup band sounds like they were held at gun point to produce these tracks. For someone who has such a religious background, ironically there isn’t a hint of soul throughout the entire album.
The most offensive song on this album is “Stephen”, about his brother who died at the age of two before Owens was born. This stereotypical country gospel sound has a full gospel choir and a rather upbeat tempo, while he sings “just like an angel he flew away…a beautiful baby with hair like a dove”. The sound is so horribly forced and inappropriate for the subject matter, it actually sounds a bit like a Christmas song from the “NOW That’s What I Call Christmas 4” album you can buy at any Hallmark store across the nation. Because of the serious and tragic subject of the song, the contrived drivel that was created about it pales in comparison to the potential for an honest vulnerability that is not seen once on this album.
Unless you want to raise your blood pressure, don’t listen to this album. This is one of the worst albums I’ve reviewed in recent history. The absolute disaster that is this mesh of horribly simplistic rhyme schemes, terribly uninspired instrumentals and the one trick pony that is Owen’s vocals should be put to bed as soon as humanly possible.
Rating: Intolerable
