The Proper Ornaments
Wooden Head
Reviewed by: Lara Supan
The Proper Ornaments are one trick ponies, and their trick isn’t very good.
These guys are amateurs. The bass heavy mix has the vocals so low and reverbed you can’t pick a single word out, or even how many people are singing. The pitches aren’t solid on numerous songs, and there are sloppy bass hits and heavy handed drums throughout. The levels don’t change for any song and even the upbeat songs are lacking in energy. These guys sound like they got high in their garage and decided to write and record an album.
“Sun” and “Stereolab” are some of the best examples of this mediocrity on the album. “Stereolab” is almost unlistenable because of it’s fluctuating pitch, and it almost sounds like this effect was a deliberate choice in the song, which makes it even worse. “Sun” opens with flat vocals that quickly rectify themselves, however the bass continues to be inconsistent throughout the song. The only intelligible words are at the end, with the repeated line “rising in the air”. Every song on Wooden Head has a problem with it so instead of enumerating each and every misstep, suffice it to say that this album is not worth a minute of your time.
Either this is a cruel joke and these guys are actually geniuses, or it’s back to the drawing board for The Proper Ornaments. I’m putting my money on the latter scenario.
Rating: 
